So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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