My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
