The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
