Jerry, you need to find god
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
