He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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