Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
