Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
