I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
