Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
