He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
