I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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