My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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