im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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