He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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