you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
