Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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