So gin and wine won't be happening again
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize