yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
