she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
