An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Randomize
