I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
