i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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