its not stalking. its research.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
