dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
