She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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