Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
