I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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