is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
