i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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