Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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