Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize