I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
