After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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