He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
