apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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