I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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