Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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