And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
