We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
