He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
