this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Mom said you looked used
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
