mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
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