Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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