My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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