Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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