What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
