There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
