Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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