Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
