omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
