I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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