My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
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