Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
