Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
