Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize