just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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