cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We have started to decorate penises.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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