he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
