You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
